Living a Whole Life

I can’t say it any better than was said by Fr. Richard Rohr in his Daily Meditation for February 1, 2012, as sent out through the Centre for Action and Contemplation:

How does one transition from the survival dance to the sacred dance? Let me tell you how it starts. Did you know the first half of life has to fail you? In fact, if you do not recognize an eventual and necessary dissatisfaction (in the form of sadness, restlessness, emptiness, intellectual conflict, spiritual boredom, even loss of faith, etc.), you will not move on to maturity. You see, faith really is about moving outside your comfort zone, trusting God’s lead, instead of just forever shoring up home base. Too often early religious “conditioning” largely substitutes for any real faith.

Usually, without growth being forced on us, few of us go willingly on the spiritual journey. Why would we? The rug has to be pulled out from beneath our game, so we redefine what balance really is. More than anything else, this falling/rising cycle is what moves us into the second half of our own lives. There is a “necessary suffering” to human life, and if we avoid its cycles we remain immature forever. It can take the form of failed relationships, facing our own shadow self, conflicts and contradictions, disappointments, moral lapses, or depression in any number of forms.

All of these have the potential to either edge us forward in life or to dig in our heels even deeper, producing narcissistic and adolescent responses that everybody can see except ourselves. We either “fall upward,” or we just keep falling.

Faith, hope & charity (Part 2)

(Continuing on the theme of my first work-in-progress presentation for the Far Corners Women’s Conferences to be delivered in March)

The story of Abraham and Sarah, and the birth of their son Isaac is the story of how God established his Covenant, or promise, with His people.  It is a story of joy and hope.  It tells us how something that seems impossible is made possible by God.

Sarah laughed to herself when she heard the promise.  God responded to her laughter with the question that we all must ask ourselves sometimes:  Is anything too hard for the LORD?

In my experience, the answer to that question is always no.   But sometimes it takes an awful lot of endurance to maintain your hope in the promise.

The Apostle Paul, in his letter to Romans, Chapter 5 – after he tells of how Abraham and Sarah were considered righteous because of their faith in God’s promise – says this about the source of hope:

¹ Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, ² through whom also we have access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. ³ And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; ⁴ and perseverance, character; and character, hope. ⁵ Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.

The story of Sarah and Abraham is a story of God’s faithfulness to those who believe in His promises.  He doesn’t promise us that we will get all we desire.  He doesn’t promise us an easy life or a life without grief.  But He promises us that we can have peace through faith in Jesus and that we can hope in the Glory of God.

And He promises us the Holy Spirit within us to give us power and strength and comfort to face the suffering and trials of life.  And that through those experiences, we can find and renew our hope.  What a wonderful promise.  What a wonderful God.

Faith, hope & charity (Part 1)

When I was a girl I had a charm bracelet that I’d received as a Christmas gift from my parents. One of the first charms I received for that bracelet was a charm of a cross, an anchor and a heart – representing faith (cross), hope (anchor) and charity/love (heart.)

The trio served as a visual reminder of the words of Paul in 1 Corinthians 13 (the love chapter):

And now abide, faith, hope and love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.

I’m thinking of this charm as I prepare my presentations for the conferences in India. My opening talk will focus on Sarah who with her husband Abraham are the “parents” of faith in the Bible. Despite their age and history and the total impossibility of the whole idea, they believed that God would somehow fulfil his promise that their descendants would number as the stars. They were both pushing 100 and had not managed to produce a child to that point. The whole plan was so ridiculous Sarah laughed out loud when she heard it.

But still they believed and hoped and ultimately the promise was fulfilled with the birth of Isaac. And their faith was counted to them as righteousness. (Romans 4:13-22 ). Amazing isn’t it?

Holding lightly that which I’ve been given

Sell your possessions and give to charity; make yourselves money belts which do not wear out, an unfailing treasure in heaven, where no thief comes near nor moth destroys.  For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.              Luke 12 :33-34

I started on this post nearly 2 weeks ago – with little more than a title and a quote, I saved it as a draft and forgot about it.  Then, a few days ago, I got a glimpse into what this is really all about.  It’s a bit of a  longish story, but here’s the elevator version:

Lazy morning in our pjs.

Rachel smells something odd.  I do too.

I scan the house to see if anything is melting/burning.

Smoke in the basement.

Get dressed fast.

Call 911

Grab a few “essentials” and get out of the house with child & dog.

First Responders, Fire, Ambulance, Police.

Fire in malfunctioning furnace is extinguished.

Cleanup begins.

 As we were exiting the house, not knowing exactly what was burning, nor how long until it would be extinguished, I briefly considered what I needed to carry out.  I grabbed my cell phone, my purse and my laptop (not sure about that choice but it is the tool of my work).  I wondered if I should take something else but I honestly couldn’t think of anything so precious it needed to be saved.  I knew Rachel was safe, Regis was safe and I would be safe.  (Anthony was at work and therefore not on my list of immediate worries.)  I knew we had appropriate insurance in place.  There was nothing in the house I thought was irreplaceable or that we couldn’t live without.

Rachel felt differently, of course, and worried about her many possessions – toys, stuffed animals, treasures and dolls.  Even the house itself.  It’s the only home she remembers and the thought it might burn was deeply distressing to her. 

Fortunately for us, the fire was soon out and we didn’t have to deal with replacing anything other than the furnace. 

But this whole event got me thinking more about how I need to hold lightly the many material blessings around me – for it all can easily vanish in just the blink of an eye.  If I am holding too tightly to the things that surround me, then those destructible things have become my treasure and the focus of my heart.  And at the end of my life, I don’t want to be found clinging to the moth-ridden, rusted and chipped bits I’ve accumulated when there is so much of obvously greater and eternal value that I might have otherwise set my heart upon.

 

Living more dangerously

A Facebook friend just posed the question: What are your goals for 2012?  Without thinking, I responded “Live dangerously.”

From time to time I hear from someone I know that they admire my risk-taking, usually speaking of my career choices.  But I do not think of myself as anything but risk-averse.  In fact, one of my many jobs requires that I provide lawyers across the country with risk management advice – in other words, I suggest ways to avoid risk.  But maybe the difference is in how we are defining risk.

I recently had an exchange via Twitter with a person I’ve never met but know via his blog which I read faithfully.  He follows me on Twitter and so we know each other a little by what we write.  In any case, I tweeted something to him and then wondered if I’d been too familiar, so I sent a follow up apology.  His response is what has me thinking about all this.  He blew off my apology, told me I worry too much and then said: My wish for you: live life more dangerously.

I was floored by that comment.  A near-total stranger completely pegged me.  I am too often worried by what might be, what others might think, what could happen if….  That’s a limiting way to live, and some might even say, not living at all.

If my faith in God means anything at all, I have to take seriously these words from Luke 12:

 “For this reason I say to you, do not worry about your life, as towhat you will eat; nor for your body, as to what you will put on. ²³ For life is more than food, and the body more than clothing. ²⁴ Consider the ravens, for they neither sow nor reap; they have no storeroom nor barn, and yet God feeds them; how much more valuable you are than the birds! ²⁵ And which of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life’s span? ²⁶ If then you cannot do even a very little thing, why do you worry about other matters? ²⁷ Consider the lilies, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin; but I tell you, not even Solomon in all his glory clothed himself like one of these.²⁸ But if God so clothes the grass in the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the furnace, how much more will He clothe you? You men of little faith! ²⁹ And do not seek what you will eat and what you will drink, and do not keep worrying. ³⁰ For all these things the nations of the world eagerly seek; but your Father knows that you need these things. ³¹ But seek His kingdom, andthese things will be added to you. ³² Do not be afraid, little flock, for your Father has chosen gladly to give you the kingdom.

So that’s my plan for 2012 and beyond.  Less worry, more living without fear.  That’s what I mean by living dangerously.

Losing myself

It’s not uncommon to hear of a person going to India to “find themself.”  I’m not entirely certain of the meaning of that phrase nor that there is just one meaning, but for me, it brings to mind interior journeys of self-discovery and exploration of who one really is.  In other words, it is all about self-focus.  A recent example of this kind of journey is found in the novel (and the movie based on the novel) Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert.  In the story, the author goes to India to learn to pray (having already learned to eat in Italy and not yet having gone to Indonesia to learn to love again) and there finds her spiritual self.

I’m a little old for finding myself but I hope I’m not yet too old to lose myself.  One of my selfish hopes for this journey to India is that I will lose my self, or more particularly, my self-consciousness there.  In my day-to-day life I so often find myself absorbed by efforts to break through the inhibitions that prevent me from taking action or responding to a situation or emotion in a way that feels natural.  This applies to how I respond to those around me as well as I how respond in worship.

I was recently in Asheville with a number of work colleagues.  One night, there was a kind of tribal drumming event in the town square.  My friend Su from Vancouver went to the event on her own and was so moved by the music she heard that she soon borrowed a drum and began to play and dance along with the others in the square.  I know that had I been there I would have longed to do the same, but this self-monitor I carry with me would have prevented me from joining in the fun.

It seems to me that it’s time that I stop letting worry about the reactions and perspectives of others determine my own actions.  I have this idea that something I see or do in India, or the people I meet there, will spur me to change in this area.  I hope that I will be inspired out of my self-consciousness, away from focusing on myself and how I am perceived by others.  I hope I will return more conscious of the circumstances and concerns of those around me which necessarily get obstructed from my view when my focus is so completely on myself.  I hope I will return able to speak the words that form, to dance the rhythms of the songs that sound and to actively display the love that resides in my heart.

Falling Upward

I start each morning with an emailed reading from Father Richard Rohr, of the Centre for Action and Contemplation (don’t you love that name!)  The themes change from week to week but I find that the meditations nearly always focus on something I am ruminating about; thoughr perhaps, it is the meditations that are stirring up my thoughts.

Through this year, the theme I have identified with most is that of entering the second half of life (no coincidence I am sure, given my age) and the ongoing process of growing and maturing that comes with this part of life.

An excerpt from the July 25, 2011 email is below, as it so perfectly describes this process.  I think it will be obvious to you why it fits here:

Usually, without growth being forced on us, few of us go willingly on the spiritual journey. Why would we? The rug has to be pulled out from beneath our game, so we redefine what balance really is. We eventually get a feel for true balance when we fall and rise a number of times.  More than anything else, this falling/rising cycle is what moves us into the second half of our own lives…. There is a “necessary suffering” to human life, and if we avoid its cycles we remain immature forever. It can take the form of failed relationships, facing our own shadow self, conflicts and contradictions, disappointments, moral lapses, depression in any number of forms. All of these have the potential to edge us forward in life, or dig in our heels even deeper, producing narcissistic and adolescent responses that everybody can see except ourselves. We either “fall upward,” as I say in my last book, or we just keep falling. –  by Richard Rohr.

I truly hope that the process of preparing for and going to India will edge me forward in life, helping me to gain the balance I am seeking.  I expect there will be at least a few falls as I proceed down this path, but I pray I will have the maturity to use these to fall upward, toward wholeness.