The one who holds up my hands

I am fortunate, blessed in a myriad of ways.  One of the great blessings in my life is that I am able to take most every opportunity to walk through open doors and step out of boats, knowing that the home fires will be kept burning.  (Yes, I know, I used too many cliches in a single sentence!)  This blessing comes to me courtesy of my competent, capable, often patient and  steadfast husband, Anthony.

When I explore new opportunities, whether in my work, or in travel with friends, or in this case, going overseas to serve with a mission team, I am able to do so without worrying about how my girl will be looked after, or if my house will be well-kept or really, about anything home-related at all because Anthony somehow makes it all happen.  He does it so well, so effortlessly that it’s easy for me to take this blessing for granted; that is, until I talk to others about how I’m not really making many preparations at all for my family while I’m gone and am then reminded that perhaps this isn’t the norm in every relationship.

This reminds me of the story of Moses looking out over the battlefield with Aaron, his brother, and Hur, positioned on either side of him, holding up his hands so that the Israelites would prevail in the battle:

Exodus 17:10-13 (NKJV)

¹⁰ So Joshua did as Moses said to him, and fought with Amalek. And Moses, Aaron, and Hur went up to the top of the hill. ¹¹ And so it was, when Moses held up his hand, that Israel prevailed; and when he let down his hand, Amalek prevailed. ¹² But Moses’ hands became heavy; so they took a stone and put it under him, and he sat on it. And Aaron and Hur supported his hands, one on one side, and the other on the other side; and his hands were steady until the going down of the sun. ¹³ So Joshua defeated Amalek and his people with the edge of the sword.

Anthony holds up my hands so I can prevail, and do the things I need to do.  He keeps it all together when I’m focused on other projects. Without him at my side, I know I couldn’t possibly be going to India.

So this post is for Anthony, who is staying behind and holding it all together, with my deepest gratitude and much love.

Falling Upward

I start each morning with an emailed reading from Father Richard Rohr, of the Centre for Action and Contemplation (don’t you love that name!)  The themes change from week to week but I find that the meditations nearly always focus on something I am ruminating about; thoughr perhaps, it is the meditations that are stirring up my thoughts.

Through this year, the theme I have identified with most is that of entering the second half of life (no coincidence I am sure, given my age) and the ongoing process of growing and maturing that comes with this part of life.

An excerpt from the July 25, 2011 email is below, as it so perfectly describes this process.  I think it will be obvious to you why it fits here:

Usually, without growth being forced on us, few of us go willingly on the spiritual journey. Why would we? The rug has to be pulled out from beneath our game, so we redefine what balance really is. We eventually get a feel for true balance when we fall and rise a number of times.  More than anything else, this falling/rising cycle is what moves us into the second half of our own lives…. There is a “necessary suffering” to human life, and if we avoid its cycles we remain immature forever. It can take the form of failed relationships, facing our own shadow self, conflicts and contradictions, disappointments, moral lapses, depression in any number of forms. All of these have the potential to edge us forward in life, or dig in our heels even deeper, producing narcissistic and adolescent responses that everybody can see except ourselves. We either “fall upward,” as I say in my last book, or we just keep falling. –  by Richard Rohr.

I truly hope that the process of preparing for and going to India will edge me forward in life, helping me to gain the balance I am seeking.  I expect there will be at least a few falls as I proceed down this path, but I pray I will have the maturity to use these to fall upward, toward wholeness.